Happily Ever After
by newyork-stateofmind11
Summary: One shots of Finchel throughout their relationship. Rated T for language.
1. NOT FOR ME

i.

"Why?"

In a solemn tone, he tells her why he no longer believes in happily ever after. For once, she doesn't talk- she just listens.

He leaves out the part about their breakup. And the fact that seeing her with Jesse only solidified his belief that there is no happily ever after for him.


	2. MAYBE NOT

ii.

He becomes so mad he can hardly see straight as she tells the club about the egging. St. Jackass is going to _pay_.

Just as he's about to leave- to rearrange Jesse's face, naturally- Mr. Schu walks in. He starts talking about how violence isn't the answer, and at first, he listens. But then her eyes meet his, and the pain there makes him angry all over again.

Eventually, everyone is gone, and it's just him and her, side by side. He squeezes her hand, and she whispers softly- so softly he almost doesn't here it- "Maybe you're right. Maybe there isn't such thing as happily ever after."


	3. IN LOVE

iii.

He's yelling at her about regionals. At least, that was what he had planned on doing. Only now, he's kissing her. He realizes just how much he's missed her, and a new, strange feeling comes over him...

He's pretty sure he's in love.


	4. WORDS AND SMILES

iv.

He said it. She wished him good luck and then his mouth took over.

"I love you."

Immediately he feels like kicking himself. _She just got egged by her ex-boyfriend,_ he tells himself. _She needs time._

But then she smiles. A real, genuine smile, different from the ones she gives the other glee clubbers when they ask if she's okay.

So he smiles too.


	5. NEVER

v.

"Just do it all ready," she says.

He's confused. Only a moment ago they were talking about the fact that it was highly inappropriate for her to have sent a freshman to a crack house. What was she talking about now?

"Break up with me. We all knew it was only a matter of time," she explains.

Is she really that clueless? Does she honestly not know how much he loves her? He reminds her.

"I'll never break up with you, Rach."


	6. FAR FROM OVER

vi.

They're fighting. She's asked- no, told- him to stop playing football. Something about him looking at Cheerios or something. And he's frustrated by her Britney Spears outfit. All of the other guys are now looking at her the way HE looks at her. The way that only HE is allowed to see her. And it's _so stupid_ that they're fighting over this, but he refuses to give up. And she's always been stubborn. Eventually they agree to disagree, but he knows that this argument is far from over.


	7. THE ONLY EXCEPTION

vii.

She, thank God, has changed back into her adorable clothing. But she hasn't let go of the fear that he will cheat on her with a Cheerio. And later, he watches her talk to Quinn about something, which makes him really confused. They HATE each other. But after he refuses Quinn in the hallway, and she sings "The Only Exception" to him, he thinks he understands.

And it just makes him love her even more.


	8. THANKS, GRILLED CHEESEUS

viii.

He prays. Really, really hard. To grilled Cheesus. To get to second base with her.

And the very next day, after talking about some emotional stuff (to be honest, he kind of zoned out), it happens.

Let's just say he's looking forward to the next time they're alone together.


	9. WORTH THE MOST

ix.

She said that he makes her want to be a better person. And then she kisses him. And it makes him feel really happy, because he knows that Rachel can be selfish sometimes (her words, not his- he doesn't really know what 'selfish' means), and here she is, willing to blow a singing competition to make the new kid feel welcome. Even though there's something in it for her, which kind of defeats the purpose, it's still nice to see that she's changing some of her less loveable qualities (though he would never say that to her).

And she's true to her word- they blow the competition. And even though they lost, even though for the next month he knows she'll be going on and on about what they could've done, and the fact that they still should've won, he knows that it was worth it. Hell, he got to be inappropriate with Rachel. ON PURPOSE. But more than that, he knows that figuring this out together- both contributing their ideas to the song choice and costumes (he leaves the dancing to her) - has brought them closer together. And that's worth more than any dinner.


	10. I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I SWEAR

x.

He tells her why there is no way in hell he is going on stage in front of the whole school in his tighty-whities. And the fact that she understands immediately- that right away she understands his insecurities- makes him feel guilty. Because he knows that she, too, has some, though they remain hidden. And he knows that her fears about fitting in- her insane need to be accepted- comes from the teasing and bullying that she endures every day. Which only makes him feel worse, because _he_ used to do that to her.

He makes a promise to himself that no matter what, he will make up for all the pain he caused her.

Little does he know that the three little words that he first uttered at Regionals already did.


	11. KISSING YOU

xi.

She's in leather boots and a tight jacket. And she is singing the best he's ever heard- though he's having difficulty concentrating, due to the way that she's making him feel right now.

God, he cannot WAIT till she's done performing so that he can kiss her senseless.

And so he can further admire the way the tight jacket compliments her chest.


	12. COSTUMES

xii.

Miss Holiday and Rachel are performing, and he absolutely loves the costumes. And the fireworks display. But mostly the costumes.

Especially hers.


	13. I'M TELLING

xiii.

Santana threatens to tell her what he did. At the thought, his chest tightens. He loves her, so much, and he just can't lose her. He can't.

But Santana won't tell. Why would she? It's not like she likes him. And even Santana isn't that mean.

_Shit_. This is Santana we're talking about. Not only that, but Santana and Rachel. She doesn't need any more reason other than the fact that it will hurt her to spill the beans.

Now all he can do is hope to God that nothing will happen.


	14. KNOWING

xiv.

Rachel knows.

She KNOWS.

She looks at him, with hurt in her eyes, and then storms out.

_Shit_. How is he supposed to fix this?


	15. HOPE IN THE GREEN ROOM

**Kay, so, I just wanted to say that I know the dialogue doesn't correspond with what happened in the matching episode, but I figure this dialogue also makes sense. **

xv.

They're in the green room, waiting to perform at sectionals. And then she explodes.

"There is no way I am going onstage with HIM!" she screams.

He snaps.

"I am so sick of this. You were with another guy. I didn't cheat on you. Yes, I lied. You can get mad at me for that. But that's not why you're pissed. It all comes down to who it was with. And honestly? It wasn't worth it. But you wouldn't know that because you've never given me the chance to tell you."

Her face softens a bit, and in that split second he has a glimmer of hope that everything will be okay.

Then the lights flicker. Showtime.


	16. WITHOUT YOU

**And now, the breakup scene. I apologize if you guys are disappointed- it was just SO HARD to write. If any of you have any suggestions to improve it, please let me know and I will edit it.**

xvi.

They make up the very next day. He hugs her, and promises her that there will be no more lies in their relationship. Guilt crosses her face, and she pulls him into an empty classroom.

His heart breaks into a million tiny pieces as she tells him what she's done. And she sees the pain in his eyes. She tries to backtrack. She apologizes. Then she says that his fling with Santana kind of cancels this out.

"The difference," he says, trying his hardest not to break down, "is I didn't cheat on you."

She suggests they go back to counselling, and he bitterly points out that you cannot go to couple's counselling if you aren't a couple.

She breaks down. As he starts down the hall, her voice calling out makes him turn back.

"You promised you'd never break up with me!"

He can hear the desperation in her voice, and he knows her apology is true. And he loves her still. But he forces his words to come out cold and hard.

"I never thought you'd make me feel like this."

He continues down the hall, his heart breaking a little more with each step.


	17. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I know you guys hate these so I'm gonna be quick. I don't know whether or not I will end up doing the Christmas episode. I might write a holiday chapter, but there's a chapter I REALLY want you guys to read, and it just doesn't fit with the whole Christmas stuff. So yes. I will still probably write a holiday chapter- just not one that follows what happened in the show. If anyone has any objections PLEASE LET ME KNOW- I will do my best to make sure that you are all satisfied with the end result. **


	18. I'D PICK YOU

xvii.

He walks down the hall hand in hand with her, his breakup at the back of his mind.

Until he sees her. Rachel.

She's standing at her locker, in a ridiculous reindeer sweater and sequined leg warmers, but he can immediately see that she's sick. Her hair is dull, her eyes unfocused. She looks thinner, he notes, and his eyes flit towards her neck. He feels a pang when he sees that his name no longer rests there. But you don't want it to, he reminds himself. You broke up with her. She's not yours, and you're not hers.

He continues down the hall, aware of the looks he's receiving. He knows that now that he's dating Santana, his popularity is back. He knows this because through all of the months he was dating Rachel, he never got these kinds of looks. Instead, he'd gotten snickers and stares. He knows that any other guy would say that he'd made the right choice- any other guy would've picked Santana.

But if he were to be truthful?

He'd pick her.


	19. YOUR FAULT TOO

**Hey guys. This was another hard chapter to right because there was SO MUCH that I wanted Kurt to yell at Finn about, but I had to write it so that it made sense, and... yah. So sorry if the writing sucks. My next couple of chapters will be pretty slow in getting up because I have a severe case of writer's block- if I seem to disappear for about a week that's why. Enjoy **

xviii.

He's doing what he does everyday- he's sitting on the couch moping. Thinking. Hurting.

As his stepbrother comes in, he acknowledges him with a silent nod of his head. But when he doesn't hear his footsteps retreat, he turns his head.

"What?"

Kurt is standing over him, glaring at him. He has never ever seen Kurt mad, but to be honest, his anger kind of reminds him of Rachel.

_Shit_. There he goes again. As soon as her name crosses his mind, his eyes fill with tears, which he hastily brushes away. Kurt sighs impatiently, and he glares at him.

"Seriously dude. Either say what you want to say, or leave me to my misery."

Kurt snorts. "Leave you to your misery? That's all I've been doing since you two broke up. And honestly? I am sick of hearing Rachel's hysterical sobs over the phone, and I am sick of watching you mope around the house. It's making me stressed, and I break out when I'm stressed. So no, I will NOT leave you to your misery."

He's shocked. "Rachel's been crying?"

Then another thought crosses his mind. "Wait... you two talk over the phone?"

Kurt nods but offers no explanation. Instead, he starts to rant. "Of course she's been crying! She loves you, Finn. She always has."

Now it's his turn to snort. "It certainly didn't seem like she loved me."

That one sentence must send his stepbrother over the edge, because he begins to yell.

"Of course she loves you! You know how I know? Because if she didn't she would have moved on. She would be singing again. She wouldn't be calling me at 6 in the god damn morning to talk, and she certain as hell would not look like someone just smashed her soundtrack for _West Side Story_. She wouldn't look sick, and she wouldn't be admitting that she cries herself to sleep every night. She knows what she did was wrong. I'm not saying that it was right. But if you took one second to look outside your own misery you would see your part in all of this. Because you have an equal share of the blame, so don't," he continues, "don't you DARE say that you had nothing to do with it. And don't even TRY to compare Rachel to Quinn, because the situations are nothing alike."

He winces. How did Kurt know?

"Quinn cheated on you for no reason; Rachel cheated on you because she was hurt. Quinn didn't love you; Rachel always has. And Quinn did not give you chance after chance."

He puts on his best innocent face, but Kurt doesn't buy it.

"Nice try. But I have eyes and ears, and so does Rachel. And you broke her heart more times than I care to count. Just in case you don't remember, I'll list them for you. You led her on while you were with Quinn. You used her for your own needs. You tried to cheat on her with Brittany and Santana- and yes, she does know that you arranged that date while you were dating her. And when you broke up with her, the reason you gave her was so that you could find your inner rock star. When she moves on, you get angry at her. You accuse her of caring too much about her reputation, when that seems to be the only thing you care about. To top it off, you lie about losing your virginity. Do you want to know the real reason why she's so hung up on the fact that it was Santana? Because your virginity is a gift, Finn. One that you mindlessly gave away. No matter how hard Rachel tries, no matter what she does, Santana will always be an important part of your life because she was your first. Time after time Rachel has forgiven you, and one mistake, you throw her away. It makes me wonder if you ever really did love her."

That makes him angry. "Of course I loved her! I loved everything about her. I loved her for who she was. Is it so bad, so wrong, to be hurt by what she did? So horrible to say that I loved her because and in spite of all of her faults, but this was below the line?"

Kurt shakes his head. "There is no such word as 'loved', Finn. Either you still love her, or you never did."

He's silent. Then Kurt speaks one final time.

"You made one other mistake."

He looks at his stepbrother, puzzled.

"You let her go."


	20. WATCHING

xiv.

He watches her from across the choir room, no longer caring if Santana sees. Ever since his conversation with Kurt, he's been watching her like a hawk, and now he notices the little changes. Some of her hair has started to fall out; she's lost weight; she no longer looks excited at the mention of solos. She moves like a zombie from class to class, and he's pretty sure her grades are slipping because he accidently saw one of her Spanish quizzes and it had a big "F" on it. Rachel _never_ gets "F"'s. Time after time she had stressed to him that his academics were the only thing that would actually get him out of this town, that would remove his Lima Loser status. And when he checks her MySpace page, he's sees that the last video she uploaded was dated right before they broke up._ It's important to build my fan base up from the ground,_ Rachel had once told him. But it didn't look like that was happening anymore, and he's sad, because he always thought that her voice was the sweetest thing in the world. _Rachel. Rachel Rachel Rachel._ This time, when her name crosses his mind, he doesn't feel angry or hurt- he feels guilty. Guilty because he knows he caused this, that once again he is the source of her pain. But he's dating Santana now. There's nothing he can do.

And so he turns his back on her once more.


	21. I LOVE YOU

xx.

He dreams about her again that night. He dreams about all of their happy times- their win at Regional's, the time he took her to the fair, when they went to see _Wicked_ performed at the community theatre. But then his dream turns into a nightmare, because they're on a cliff, and she's slips, and now she's falling and there's nothing he can do about it-

And then he wakes up.

Without thinking his hand reaches for his phone and he automatically calls her. She picks up on the third ring.

"_Hello?"_

He's so surprised, so relieved to hear her voice that he almost drops the phone. "Rachel?"

"_Finn? Why are you calling me? It's two in the morning. You should be sleeping, not talking to your ex."_

He flinches at the word "ex", realizing that she's right. He really has no right to be bothering her. Even though he's the one that ended it, his heart starts to ache when she refers to herself as "his ex". She will always, always be "his Rachel" in his mind.

"I... I needed to make sure you were okay."

He can hear the confusion in her voice clearly as she speaks.

"_Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"_

He's about to tell her about the dream, about the terror that he felt, before he realizes, with another pang, that he shouldn't. That she's his ex, and she shouldn't know that he was dreaming about her.

"No reason."

"_If that's all, I'm going back to bed. Goodnight Finn."_

"Goodnight Rachel."

He hears a click and whispers into the emptiness,

"I love you."


	22. SCENTS AND SOBS

**I did end up doing a holiday themed one shot. Here it is **** I hope you enjoy it! For those of you who celebrate it- Merry Christmas! For those of you who don't- Happy Holidays! (There is so many other celebrations that I can't name them all). This is actually one of my favourite one shots. Please tell me what you think!**

xxi.

His Christmas goes horrible this year. He wasn't expecting it to be usual, what with his brand new family and all, but it goes a lot worse than even he could have imagined. And as he's falling asleep, he realizes why he's had this funny ache in his chest all afternoon. He bolts upright as the thought occurs to him.

This was supposed to be their first holiday as a couple.

He groans. Why must everything, every train of thought, every sight, every sound, lead back to her?

He gets up slowly from his bed, jumping a little when his feet touch the cold floor. He tiptoes over to his closet, and pulls out the gift he got her for the last day of Hanukah (he's not rich enough to buy her one for every day). He sprays a bit of the perfume and takes a deep breath. He had always loved the way she smelled, so when she mentioned that she was running low on perfume, he figured it was the perfect gift to give her. As the scent hits his nose, his eyes begin to well up. He misses her, so much, and he wants so much to be able to get past this, but every time he resolves to give her a second chance, the annoying voice in the back of his head reminds him what she did, and then he has to forgive her all over again.

He ends up spending Christmas night sitting cross legged on the floor, perfume bottle in hand, sobbing.


	23. PLEASE?

**Hey Guys. I know, I know, I haven't updated in forever! I'm sorry! I just wanted to let you guys know that these are the last three chapters of this story, so to speak. I apologize if Finn is a bit out of character- I didn't know how else to write him. Enjoy!**

xxii.

Kurt insists on throwing a New Year's Eve party, and he doesn't have the energy to argue. He secretly hopes that _she_ will be invited, because he really needs to see her, even though they are no longer together. So when Kurt casually mentions that Rachel will be coming over early to help, his heart jumps for joy, though his face remains neutral. Sure enough, 2 days later, Rachel appears on his doorstep. He opens the door to her panic-stricken face- apparently Kurt forgot to mention that he was going to be around. He tries his hardest to be civil towards her, even though all he wants to do is kiss her until she can't breathe, and then kiss her some more. She's clearly shocked that he is speaking to her again, and the small talk ends off in awkward silence. Luckily, Kurt comes in right at that moment and drags her away, and he manages to escape having to only look at her (he'd much rather be holding her) for a couple of hours. During his alone time, he manages to come to the resolution that tonight was the night he was going to make things right with her. Even the little voice in his head doesn't argue with him this time.

He gets his chance an hour before midnight.

He watches her from across the room all through the party, and he can see how uncomfortable she is being a third wheel to Kurt and Blaine, who had been shamelessly flirting all night. Her face seems to fall a little bit more with every clever line they exchange, until she can't take it anymore. He watches as she excuses herself and gets her coat, and soon he's pushing his way through the crowd (did Kurt SERIOUSLY have to invite his entire grade?), trying to reach her before she can leave. He finally makes it, and he shuts the door just as she unlocks her pink Prius.

"Rachel!"

She turns, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Yes, Finn?"

He can't help but wonder what she could be crying about, but he knows that if he doesn't say this now, he never will.

"I love you."

"Finn, I-"

"Let me finish. I love you. And when you love someone, you fight for them. I want us to move on from this. Please. I know you know that what you did was wrong, and that what you did hurt me. But I also know that I've been given more chances than I deserve, and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't let you have another chance. Please, please, can we be together again?"

Her face is apologetic. "Finn, I don't think we can."

His heart breaks all over again. "Why not? Is it because I lied? Because I won't ever do that again."

She smiles a little bit at his words. "No, Finn, it's not because you lied. It's because I've shown that I let my emotions control my judgement, and you deserve better than that. It's because whenever we try to be a couple, something always gets in the way. It's because you keep breaking my heart, and I can't keep trying to mend it."

"So you don't love me."

"I never said that."

"But you may as well have. Because if you loved me, you would have wanted us to work this out. I guess you don't love me, because-"

Her palm connects with his cheek.

"How dare you. How DARE you say that. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have thrown myself so readily into your arms after you had already broken my heart the first time. I wouldn't have tried to apologize to you for what I did countless times- I would have said that it didn't matter. I love you, so much. And that's why I'm letting you go."

She is definitely angry, but he can hear the sadness in her voice. And even though she's currently red with rage, she looks so tragically beautiful that his arms secure around her waist and pull her close.

"How can you letting go of us mean that you love me?"

She struggles to pull away. "You deserve better than me, than a selfish, stubborn, spoiled brat. And it seems that every time I let you in, we end up screwing it up. I can't keep living like that, Finn. To be elated one day and crushed the next. I just can't."

"But-"

"There's nothing to discuss. Now will you please let go of me?"

He releases her, and she gives him a look that is part apologetic, part angry, part sad, before getting into her car and driving away.

This wasn't the way things were supposed to go.

So he follows her.


	24. LIFE'S NOT FAIR

xxiii.

She runs into her house, a strangled sob escaping her lips as she sheds her coat and dashes up the stairs, ignoring the concerned looks of her father's, who realize that she needs to be left alone. Alone to wallow in her misery over the events of the past months.

It's not _fair._ She loves him, and she knows that what she did was messed up. That it was wrong. And when she tries to explain to him why she did what she did, he tells her to leave him alone, give him space. So she does. It nearly kills her, but what hurts more is seeing the pain in his eyes, so she gives him space. But he can come up and apologize? He can say that he loves her and expect her to fall back into his arms again? She knows that she's selfish, but he is too. He's hurt her so many times, and he expects it to be okay with a simple apology? He's delusional. Just like she was when she tried to apologize. She gets that now.

This was not how her New Year's Eve was supposed to go. She was supposed to be enjoying herself at Kurt's party. Instead, she's curled up on her bed, in her favourite pajamas, a bag of butter flavoured popcorn stuck between her legs, watching the New York New Year's Eve broadcast.

Only now does she allow herself to cry- only now does she let the tears stream down her face. She cries for what she's done, for her stupidity, for _his_ stupidity, for how messed up things got tonight, for what could have been. What _should_ have been.

_It's not fair_, she whispers.

_Life's not fair_, the voice in her head gently reminds her.

She sighs. How true that is.

Life's not fair.


	25. HAPPILY EVER AFTER

xxiv.

He parks on the curb outside her house, feeling like a stalker. He watches her house for a sign, any sign, that might tell him where she is. He waits for what seems like forever before he sees the flicker of the T.V. screen in the upper right corner of the house.

_Rachel's room_.

His heart leaps a little at the sight.

Without a second thought, he jumps out of his car and runs up the front walkway to the door. Only with his finger hovering over the doorbell does he begin to have doubts about following her home. Nothing seems quite as creepy as being 'stalked' by your ex on New Year's Eve.

_No,_ he tells himself. _ I need to get this sorted out once and for all._

And so he rings the doorbell.

It takes a couple of minutes, but eventually the porch light clicks on, and the door opens, revealing a very sad looking Rachel Berry in monkey pajamas. He smiles at the sight, but it instantly disappears when he notices that her eyes are red rimmed.

_Way to go, Hudson. Made her cry again._

Her eyes narrow as she realizes that he actually is standing there, on her front porch. "What do you want, Finn?"

He can hear how frustrated she is, and though his first reaction is annoyance, his next is understanding. He's doing exactly what he told her not to do, for the same reason that she did.

She needs to understand.

He says nothing, just stands there, drinking in the sight.

She gives an impatient grunt. "Finn, if you don't have anything to say to me that doesn't involve telling me that I don't love you or calling me a slut, can you please leave?"

He looks at her, not knowing what he's supposed to say. He didn't really think about it.

Then he hears the countdown coming from the T.V. in her living room.

_15, 14, 13, 12…._

In that instant he knows exactly what to do. Without hesitation, he steps closer to her, pulls her into his arms, and just as the countdown strikes one, he presses his lips to hers.

And she doesn't fight him.

They stand there, on her porch, kissing, and it feels so good to finally be able to hold her again, to be able to kiss without one of them fighting it, and he feels like he could stand there forever.

She's the one who finally pulls away.

"I love you, Finn."

He begins to smile, because it finally seems like things are starting to get better, until she speaks again.

"I love you so much. And that's why I'm letting you go."

She whispers a 'good night' and 'Happy New Years', and begins to close the door, but he sticks his foot out and catches it before it can slam shut.

"I love you too. Please, please, remember that."

She smiles and nods.

"And could you reconsider us trying to be a couple again?"

She pauses, then nods.

He smiles, taking his foot out of the door. She closes it softly, and as he walks back to his car, he feels happier than he has in a long time.

Things aren't completely better yet, but they're getting there. And he knows that in the end, things will get sorted out.

Because for once, happily ever after seems to be forming for him.


End file.
